Ultimate Marvel Marathon – A 29 hour nerd endurance trial
I love a good marathon. Who among us doesn’t? Of course my ‘marathon’ I mean of the Netflix variety. The I just discovered this show and now must watch 37 episodes in row kind of marathon. You grab some pals (and your PJs) order pizza, you make wine/beer/bathroom runs every few episodes and before you know it you’ve watch 2 seasons of Game Of Thrones in as many days. (true story. Oh Khaleesi, I hope you find love someday)
So when AMC announced a marathon of every Marvel movie to date, back to back, culminating in an advance (by a few hours) screening of Avengers: Age Of Ultron. . .in 3D no less?! My crew and I knew what had to be done. We would have to sit on our asses and watch 11 damn movies in a row. And I tell you friends, that is exactly what we did!! (jammies and all)
Read here my internal monologue / progression of random thoughts / our collective descent into madness if you wish:
6:00pm – Iron Man
5:58 OK here we go! squee! so exciting!
6:00 The movie starts and there is a literal buzz of excitement in the theatre.
6:10 I love RDJ. He’s my very favourite crackhead comeback story!
6:40People cheer Coulson like a damn rock star. Should I start watching Agents of SHIELD?
7:00 The Jericho Missile sounds like an awesome finishing move. I miss WWF 🙁
8:00 Poor Yinsen. . .where do I know that guy from?
8:05 IMDB says: lots of stuff I don’t watch apparently. Guess I just know his face.
7:42 I should probably keep the phone use to a minimum
8:20 I love that movie!! It totally holds up!
I lost all sense of time pretty early in the marathon, soooo the timestamps get a little hazy from here on out. .
8:30pm – The Incredible Hulk
8:55 We should go to Brazil. Big butts and caipirinha all over the place. Mmm heaven.
9:05 hahahah poor Stan Lee.
9:20 Hey it’s Arwen! . . .Lol she’s dating Phil Dunphy
9:35 The purple pants!! I love it!!
9:45 Tim Roth as a badass? Alright. . let’s see it. .
9:50 Hey those are the same tattoos he has in Lie To Me. . .Must not. . .use phone . .
9:51 ::googles “Tim Roth tattoos” anyway:: Yup, they’re his actual tattoos.
10:00 My husband has to explain the “Abomination” reference to me. I lose 5 nerd points
10:25 That was awesome. I wonder if Edward Norton is really a jerk :-/ I hope not.
10:30pm – Iron Man 2
10:35 Holy Shit Mickey Rourke!
10:45 Still love me some RDJ
11:00 No Terrence Howard? Oh well, Don Cheadle is more personable anyways
11:15 I have a serious fangirl moment over Elon Musk’s .7 second cameo
11:30 YAS! I need some electro-whips before Halloween!
12:00 Is that the bottom of a jumbo popcorn tub?! What time does the concession stand close?
12:55 What day is it? What’s up next? I’m sleepy
1:00am – Thor
1:10 Yasss. We need to do a Marvel Halloween. I want that damn cape
1:40 Tom Hiddleston’s face in this scene is all I see when people write “Gurrrrrrrl”
2:20 I zzzz out. The rest of this flick passes in bits and pieces of dreams of Norse mythology and Renaissance Faire references
3:00 Good Lord what day is it?
3:10am – Captain America: The First Avenger
3:20 I suppress the urge to do my best Michelle Fairley impression and shout WALDER FREEEEY at the top of my lungs.
3:30 Holy Hell what is up with Chris Evans’ neck?!?!
3:35 No seriously, make it stop
3:40 The audience once again loses our shit, this time over the appearance of Agent Carter.
5:10 I’m up! I’m awake! No, I’m actually lying. I need coffee. NOW.
5:30am – The Avengers
5:35 Why is Tom Hiddleston so pretty?
5:37 Why doesn’t my hair like look that?!
5:45 Cobie Smulders should always wear leather everything.
6:00 My butt is getting numb
6:30 Why does 3d holographic imaging eye stealing technology even EXIST in this universe?!
7:00 Why does New York always get destroyed in every movie ever?
7:00 They wreck my office building in this scene so I don’t care. It’s awesome.
7:30 Sincerely, whats open? I need that coffee
We got an hour break here! Woooo! Took a walk in Central Park & snapped a pic of The Mall totally empty!
But this break also brought us out into the daylight and forced us to admit to ourselves that it was a different day. I had to think, I spent all night in a movie theatre. What even is my life?
There was an Aroma near by so I got to feel human for a little while (their coffee is uhhhhmazing) and pick up one of my favourite sandwiches for later.
8:50am – Iron Man 3
9:00 Already too much Gyneth Paltrow for me. I’m out Zzzzz
9:25 Is that the chick from The Awakening?
10:00 Is there ANYTHING Ben Kingsley can’t do?!
11:15 I want to go back to sleep, but the anti-bromance between RDJ and this little kid is too adorable
11:00 Possibly my favourite after-credits scene ever.
11:15am – Thor: The Dark World
11:20 Thor is going to totally ignore the badass warrior goddess Lady Sif for a boring mortal and I’m already annoyed
11:05 Oh Kat Dennings. Can we be friends IRL? We could be the AbFab of this generation.
11:40 Malekith – those braids tho. Fierce baby. FIERCE.
12:20 The audience loses our collective shit over Loki. (and rightfully so)
12:30 The screen reads “Svartalfheim” and I can’t stop giggling
1:30 Paul says Svartalfheim about every 20 minutes now to see if it’s still funny. (it is)
1:40pm – Captain America: The Winter Soldier
2:00 Scarlett Johansson. . .could I show up to work in that outfit on Monday?
2:01 Probably not a great plan.
2:30 Nick Fury Nooooooooooooooooooo!
3:00 Sebastian Stan is weirdly hot with long hair.
4:00 Possibly my favourite after-credits scene ever.
4:20pm – Guardians Of The Galaxy
4:30 I’m already giggling. I’m delirious and there will be no controlling my silliness during this film. #SorryNotSorry
4:45 Zoe Saldana is even gorgeous when green
5:20 I luv Rocket. All escape plans should involve random and uneccessary prosthetic limbs
5:45 Holy shit! Suicide by Infinity Stone! That never gets less disturbing.
6:00 I tear up over Groot. I’m not ashamed to admit it. My heart is made of stone; but it exists dammit!
6:15 To hide my earlier display of emotion, I whisper-sing The Rainbow Connection as The Guardians teach us all the power of friendship. #TeamworkMakesTheDreamWork
6:30 Baby Groot!!!! Life is good again!
7:00pm – Avengers: Age Of Ultron
7:00 I am literally vibrating with excitement. . . or is that delirium?
7:30 He’s fast and she’s weird. Nope, it’s excitement. I’m having trouble sitting still now.
7:55 – 9:30 They’re gonna kill Hawkeye, They’re gonna kill Hawkeye, They’re gonna kill Hawkeye, They’re gonna kill Hawkeye,
8:15 Vision lifts Mjolnir O_O *The entire audience gasps*
8:30 The scream. There isn’t even sound. But Elizabeth Olsen rips my heart out with that silent scream.
9:00 Scarlet Witch comes out swinging. I lose composure and let fly my queeniest YAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!! The audience cheers, so I don’t feel too awkward.
9:10 That final battle for the switch, lifted straight from a comic centerfold is pure nerd poetry. Am I crying again??
9:22 The movie wraps up in a blur. From exhaustion, from recycled air irritating my eyes. . .yeah that’s it. No blurriness over Pietro Maximov’s untimely death. . . OMG is it over? did I survive?
9:35 Yes. Yes I did. Even better? My ride or die homegirl is outside to drive our crazy asses home and save us from public transportation!!